Saturday, September 10, 2016

Cunts aren't cars and real safety education

Another FB comment turned blog rant. A friend posted this and we were all taking our turns taking the piss out of it.



Key Points:
  • FOR THE LAST GODDAMN TIME, STOP COMPARING WOMEN'S BODIES TO UNLOCKED CARS, UNSECURED BANKS, AND UNLOCKED FRONT DOORS!
  • Banks DO leave their doors unlocked during business hours.
  • Even if people leave their banks, car doors, house doors unlocked and somebody robs them, we find that asshole and throw his ass in jail.
  • When people rob banks, we don't ask the bank, "Well what did you think was going to happen to you if you kept all that stealable money around? You should know better." 
  • Sadly, while we should be teaching men to treat women as human beings, not fuckdolls, but until the day comes when men DO see women as humans, it isn't the worst thing in the world to teach some safety tips.
The last point really stuck with me for two reasons. The main one was that we SHOULD teach safety to women because it's not yet a perfect world, but the kinds of things we tend to teach women are highly impractical. Second, it often gives credence to the narrative that rapists are somehow inhuman monsters that don't live up here on earth with the rest of the humans when that's simply not the case.

Thus, I ranted to following: 


The other huge problem with the analogy is that it caters to the rapist=monster narrative, which is very, VERY irresponsible. Rapists are not monsters that live beneath the rocks, emerging only at the full moon to rape women, then shrink back to the depths from whence they came at sunrise. Rapists are NORMAL guys. Rapists are guys WE KNOW. 3/4 of victims KNOW their rapists. They are our brothers, our friends, our fathers, our boyfriends, our husbands, our teachers, our coaches, our bosses, our colleagues, our classmates. We don't like to think of this because we don't want to think of ourselves as associating with rapists or of our friends, families, and associates as rapists, but that's who's doing it. 

https://www.rainn.org/statis.../perpetrators-sexual-violence

Even the "safety advice" that's out there is ridiculous. We are taught that we should stay away from "dangerous" situations when the situations we consider "dangerous" are statistical anomalies. "Don't hang out behind a truck stop alone at 2am!" Ok, but like NOBODY gets raped outside truck stops alone at 2am. You know where they get raped? Their own bedrooms, their friends' houses, their own cars, their boyfriends' houses, teachers' offices....places we don't think of as "dangerous." We aren't taught signs of abusive men, signs of men who are grooming us, what consent really means, how to clearly say no...we aren't teaching men how to take rejection, how to hear no, how to respect no, that someone who is so drunk they have no idea what is going on CANNOT consent, that someone who is literally unconscious CANNOT consent, either. 

It's this attitude that lets the Brock Turners of the world run around raping women (he WILL rape again, I guarantee it) and still never understanding that they have done something wrong because they think, "But I'm not a monster! I don't live under a rock! I don't have to wait til the full moon to rape somebody!" Instead of learning something, you know what this fucker wants? To go all over the world lecturing women about "alcohol and promiscuity." 

......

Not teaching men about consent, but teaching women not to be drunken sluts...because...you know...if you're a drunken slut, you're fair game for a rapist.

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