Monday, January 21, 2013

Ways to depress yourself

We all know a little masochist lives inside each and every one of us. Sometimes it gets hungry and needs to be fed. Sometimes we let it get so hungry that we feel guilty for starving it. So, here are some nice little nuggets of punishment it can nibble on.


Create a profile on a dating site. Watch who replies.
Go shopping in a "vintage" store only to find clothes you wore at a time that seemed "not that long ago."
Look at pictures of yourself as a baby and think of all the unfulfilled hopes your parents had for you at that time.
Upload a naked picture of yourself online. Read the comments.
Post ANYTHING on reddit. Read the comments.
Post ANYTHING on Youtube. Read the comments.
Post something really positive on Facebook. Watch your "friends" turn it into a fight somehow.
Realize there's no such thing as karma then think about someone you hate.
Punch a flower.
Stand in front of the mirror naked until you find some flaw. Keep standing for 10 more minutes.
Count the ratio of edible to non-edible items in your refrigerator.
Think about a beach getaway, then think about melanoma.
Before you shower or put on deodorant, smell yourself. Realize that smelly person is who you REALLY are.
Go to church.
Watch any reality TV show, think about how retarded everyone on it is. Then think about how much more money they have than you ever will.
Remember that book you were going to publish/that masterpiece you were going to paint/that movie you were going to star in/that thing you have always wanted to do and realize you'll never do it.
Go through your closet and look at how faded your clothes are. Refuse to donate them or throw them away.
Order a pizza with everything on it. Pair that with a huge cake and then watch a documentary about world hunger.
Watch Hotel Rwanda.

Feel free to share your own nuggets of depression below in the comment section. 

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