Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Gay marriage won't lead to bestiality

With cases for gay marriage inching closer and closer to consideration in the Supreme Court, the media pushes more and more extreme opinions to our attention. Media propaganda aside, even in interpersonal communications, it seems we're all getting louder in support of our side or in ridicule of the other side. I might as well add my 2¢.

A commonly held argument against gay marriage is, "What's next?" Popular predictions include but are not limited to pedophilia, polygamy, and bestiality.

"What's next, a man marrying a little kid?"
"What's next, a man marrying 30 women (as if most conservatives haven't fantasized about that)?"
"What's next, a man marrying a sheep?"

While I do maintain that the slippery slope is not a logical fallacy (to say so would be to say that things never lead to other things), there is a question of degree and direction. A man marrying another man may very well lead to other things, but bestiality certainly will not be one of them. Taking the slope in a positive direction, among them could be more freedom for everyone to choose their own lifestyle, but that doesn't fit the conservative agenda very well. They don't even want heterosexual women choosing how to live.

Speaking of women, I suppose because conservative Christians are still prone to being perverts and porn enthusiasts, has anyone noticed that the argument is never, "It's Adam and Eve, not Alice and Eve," or, "If a woman can marry another woman, what's next?" It seems conservatives don't fear lesbians, unless, of course, they're campaigning for feminist causes, in which case, they're a hideous plague upon humanity. This view is changed as soon as a DVD is popped into a player.

It would appear conservatives have gender specific fears and hatreds. They don't worry about women marrying women. They don't worry about women marrying horses. They don't worry that if their daughters play sports they'll turn gay.

Flip-flop the genitals, and a whole host of fears reveals itself. They fear a man marrying another man. They fear a man marrying a sheep. If their sons play dress-up in mommy's closet rather than daddy's, he will definitely turn out queer and woe be unto him when he does.

Bringing the focus to gender specific bestiality, how often do we hear, "If a woman can marry another woman, what's next, a woman marrying a horse?" Well, conservatives, consider this: They say "hung like a horse" for a reason. There are a LOT of male animals that are much better hung than homo sapiens. As a feminist who fights for gender equality, I say it's time to expand your fear and hatred.

All joking aside, there should be absolutely no fear that bestial marriage will be next should gay marriage become legal. All 50 states, Puerto Rico and Washington D.C. have a marriage consent age of at least 18, some states 21, others 19. The reason should be obvious: we, as a nation, have agreed that children are not mentally or emotionally mature enough to give their consent to something as serious as marriage. Also, we don't want to encourage pedophilia, at least not without mom and dad's permission.

Are we to suppose that animals are so much more mentally and emotionally mature than an 17 year old human being? We're not going to give our own children, who can walk, talk, and work at Wendy's permission to marry. Why would we then give permission to a goat who just eats grass and says, "Meeeeeh," once in a while? While that sounds like a perfect wife for a conservative, we know that goats just aren't capable of choosing to marry.

Conservatives, relax. If you let a consenting, adult man marry another consenting, adult man, Pandora's Box of bestiality will not suddenly burst open. As for polygamy and pedophilia, well, you've already given your consent to one of them as long as the parents approve.

Perhaps gay marriage is a slippery slope. Perhaps it slopes in a positive direction. Perhaps it will allow more freedom to slide down to more people. One thing is certain, it will not help Farmer Jack's cock slide up his sheep's rectum any more easily.

Image stolen from, who may or may not have stolen it from someone else.

Image stolen from, who likely stole it from someone else.
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