Friday, September 14, 2012

Sympathy for the Devil

Dear Men's Rights Activists,

I know there are plenty of you out there that are good people who concern yourself with REAL men's rights issues, such as spousal abuse, rape, prison life, child custody, etc., and NOT with taking women's rights away. If you are such a person, this note may or may not apply to you. However, if you are the type who goes around trolling any and every feminist blog, Youtube video, and website you can, or even dedicates a whole website to trolling feminists, this note is for you.

Please know that there will always be "feminine" women. There will always be women who like to wear makeup and high heels and cute accessories. There will always be women who want to be wives and mothers, who are perfectly willing to do your laundry and clean up your house and cook for you, who like to be subservient. There are even plenty of women that won't mind if you sleep around, but will still be faithful to you, and there always will be.

....but you won't get them.


First of all, you are not now, never have been, and never will be entitled to a woman, let alone the woman of your dreams. You're not entitled to anything in life. Even if you were entitled to a woman, no woman, not even the kind that matches your preferences, is attracted to a guy who is so bitter, angry, and psychotic that he spends that much time verbally abusing other women, even if it's only through the shallow anonymity of the internet. It sends a very bad signal to her about how you might be inclined to treat her. Do you really think that, even the woman of your dreams would feel comfortable knowing that you told someone they should get raped to death?

Of course, I think you know this, which is why you only troll on the net and you only troll anonymously. You wouldn't dare say any of this in person, in public, or to a  man. Go ahead, I dare you.

Now, before you go asking me to kill myself or to choke on 50 cocks, or to get raped by 1000 men with HIV, understand that I actually want you to be happy. You're clearly not. One of the ways that you make yourself miserable is thinking that your desires are unique and special and difficult to accommodate, which causes you to go around blaming any feminist you can get your keyboard on for your own misery. Trolling is nothing more mental masturbation and self medication and it's about as healing as homeopathy .

But this little pearl of wisdom may soothe your symptoms:

FACT: DATING SUCKS!

FOR EVERYBODY!

You are not special in that. I know your parents and your teachers and your coaches always told you that you were special, but you're not. Trying to find a partner BLOWS. Anybody who's done it will tell you that. Some people have an easier time than others because they may have won the genetics lottery when you didn't even get the Power Ball, but that is life. No one ever said life was fair. You have to look at the good things about yourself and try to enhance them. Yes, this may take painstaking work, but anything truly worth having deserves hard work.

Really think about it. Would you rather spend a year finding the woman you want or a year searching for contrary blogs and websites so you can leave nasty comments to them? Would you rather meet a woman tomorrow who is independent and spend all your time trying to force her to behave the way you want, or would you rather spend months finding a woman that matches your desires and will be happy with you?

I'm sorry if genetics screwed you over but, once again, you are not unique in this. If DNA made you short or bald or have a weird voice or have a slow thyroid or whatever, either figure out a way to rock it or figure out how to enhance your better features. There are plenty of men out there with bad features that still get the women of their dreams and they all have one thing in common: They don't go around anonymously insulting, demeaning, and threatening every feminist they can find on the internet. Trolling people is not going to make you sexy. It just makes you look like a bitter, smelly turd that people can't wait to flush down the toilet.

The card shuffle is no different for your physical features than it is for any of your other features. Some people are artistically inclined or mathematically inclined or musically inclined or scientifically inclined. You don't go around devoting significant amounts of time and emotion telling artists or mathematicians how sucky the world has become for you and it's all their fault for expressing themselves or sharing their findings and so they should all sit on 20 hot curling irons and die. 


...or maybe you do, I dunno.

I do know, from firsthand experience, it's hard when you think that you will never find the right partner, that there is NO ONE out there for you, that the type of person you want is extinct, that the only people who will have sex with you are old and ugly, even though hot people give sex away to everyone else and it's all because some asshole convinced them to do it. It can be hard NOT to be angry at the world and everyone you think impedes you from accomplishing your goals and satisfying your desires, but it's no excuse.

Going around hatefully trying to shoehorn scientific data into your philosophy or ideology so you can keep being a vinegar flavored cock is not going to help you. NO philosophy or ideology is scientific....if it were, it would be called science. You know damn well that science doesn't establish "oughts" or "shoulds" or morality. It simply tells us what is. It doesn't take sides, it doesn't prefer arguments. Science is Switzerland, and try as you might, it's not ever going to stop being neutral.

Everything to follow is not at all meant to be ironic or patronizing. These are sincere hopes and sympathies of mine. I'm sorry you have such low self esteem. I truly am. I've been there. Sometimes, I still end up there. I empathize. I'm sorry you think feminists are out to get you and destroy everything you hold dear. I am sorry that your frustration has made you lose touch with reality. I genuinely hope you can get past this. I genuinely hope that the world of dating is not especially cruel to you. I genuinely hope that one day you will meet the woman of your dreams and that you'll be the man of her dreams too. I genuinely hope you will be happy some day...

...but none of that will happen unless you

CHILL

THE FUCK

OUT!

<3,
The Ranting Redhead


Image stolen from Jacob Grier, who stole it from icanhascheezburger.com, who likely stole it from someone else.

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1 comment:

  1. I didn't think men needed a men's rights movement. It's probably like christian rights movement, they're fighting for rights they already have and just want to convince people that they're the victims.

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