Saturday, August 18, 2012

The Slapping

Goddammit....the second I say that I no longer give a shit about DWTS or anyone on it or anyone who likes it and swear all of it off, something juicy comes out.

I'm not taking sides, but I am going to make you learn something about yourself. First of all, you weren't there. Basing your judgments of the situation and either of the two involved in it on the very tiny tidbits of evidence available is stupid. You're being stupid......There, I said it.

What evidence do we have that Maksim is a batterer? He gives off the impression of a bad attitude and hot temper at times and Hope said so. What evidence do we have that Hope is a liar and “opportunist?” She gives off the impression of being nefarious and controversial at times and Maks said so.

Just for fun, let's take turns assuming each is guilty.

I am not accusing anybody of anything, but let's pretend Hope really is lying. What would that mean to you? Would all her gold medals be worthless? Would she still be a role model? Does that make her guilty in all the other controversies she's been involved in? What does she hope to gain from it? Why would she not want to ruin his career then but try to ruin it now? Why would somebody make up stories about abuse? All that does is minimize everyone who has been abused. Frankly, not that there are many of them, but women who lie about abuse cause more suffering for women who are actually abused because the more women who cry wolf...you get the idea. So, permanent yeast infection for her if she is lying.

Now let's pretend Maks really did physically abuse Hope. What would that mean to you? Would you still think he's sexy? Would you still be inspired by him? Would you still idolize him? How could he do such a thing? If no other partners complained of abuse, why would he just abuse Hope? Of course, I must add, anybody who physically brutalizes other people is a piece of shit. On top of that, any man who physically abuses a woman should get incurable rotting cock and ball cancer....and ass burning diarrhea forever.

Why am I hypothetically wishing a harsher punishment on Maks? Because someone who's a lying opportunist is bad, but someone who's a woman-beating, lying opportunist deserves a nice, ripe cactus to sit on....with the already diarrhea burned asshole and rotting cock and balls. That doesn't mean I'm taking sides. Please don't accuse me of being a Maks hater.....though I know you will.

Of course, speaking of Maks' his rabid fans, I just wouldn't be doing justice to my feminist conscience if I failed to mention this. I looked at several articles to see if I could get evidence of what really happened. Surprise, I could not. However, one thing that struck me harder than Maks hypothetically struck Hope: the reader comments.

A lot of the comments from rabid Maks fans are incredibly disturbing and reinforce the idea that misogyny and violence against women is becoming more and more normalized and accepted. I'm not saying Maksim is guilty, but this isn't about him. It's about general misogyny. A lot of the comments are things that are unfortunately expected from his fans. They made fun of how she looks, her attitude, called her names, blablabla regular ol' personal attacks (to be fair her fans weren't any nicer to him). All of that is annoying, but it's standard for what people think they can get away with when the anonymity of the internet makes them completely inculpable.

Then there is a crop of fans that really disturb me. Their comments to articles and vicious tweets wish graphic ill upon Hope, assert she deserves to be slapped, worst of all, that it's all somehow her fault. These are, disturbingly, all females who believe Maksim is guilty, but rather than implicating him, they implicate Hope for “allowing” herself to be abused. Go to any article that mentions the event, I guarantee you'll find multiple comments that say something to the effect of, “Hope is a strong woman, she shouldn't have taken that from him! If she was in a bad situation, she was stupid to stay in it!”

Or, “If ABC offered her another partner, why the hell did she stay? What's wrong with her?! What an idiot to keep taking that! She shoulda left the show and sued ABC's and his ass!”

Or, “Hope, you're a strong woman and I admire you, but you've really let me down allowing yourself to take abuse from a man.”

Or, “So what, a red handprint? You get slapped across the face with soccer balls all the time and you wanna whine about a measly handprint? Toughen up.”

Another awful thing I've seen is people trying to make a cultural misunderstanding out of it. Comments are to the tune of, “Oh, well, he's Ukranian and they have hot tempers...things are different where he's from...I'm sure it's just a cultural misunderstanding!”

Are you fucking kidding me? Cultural relativity excuses violence? I guess it's okay to abuse women if you're a foreigner. Again, the scary thing is the people making those comments aren't denying he did it. They believe he did....and they're okay with it because...derp...he's from another country. It makes me weep for vagina bearing citizens everywhere that violence against women is normalized, accepted, even encouraged. Worst of all, not only are women being brutalized, they're then being victimized for being brutalized....in AMERICA! In a first world, powerful, wealthy, modern nation....

Once again, no, I am not saying Maks is guilty, just pointing out that women who assume he is guilty are the ones accepting and encouraging violence against women.

Another thing I can't bear to left unsaid: STOP PUTTING ALL THIS IN CONTEXT OF YOUR OWN IMAGINATION! You might feel like you know Maks or Hope because you see glimpses of who they are on TV, in interviews, on their social networks. You love what you've seen. As a result, you've fabricated this imaginary being in your head and fallen in love with it. It can do no wrong. Something you'd love that much could never do such a thing!

Sadly, at that point, you're not defending Maks. You're not defending Hope. You're defending your own imagination. You want so badly for the reality to be as perfect as your imagination that you'll do almost anything to keep clinging to it.

You're all very lucky there's no solid evidence to implicate either one of them because it will allow you to stay in love with your fabrications of them; but ask yourself, what are you going to do if hard, irrefutable evidence comes out that Maks really did abuse Hope or that Hope really did make the whole thing up? Will you still jump to defend a known batterer or liar? Just because someone is sexy or interesting to you doesn't mean they're perfect.

None of us were there. None of us get to judge. None of us get to call Hope a liar or Maks a batterer. There is equal evidence for both....that is to say very little. At the present, two people in the universe know what happened...and you ain't one of 'em. In any case, let go of your imaginary dildo/hand you sat on so it would feel like a stranger. Yes, we all have our heroes, idols and sexual fantasies, and it's a pity that reality has to interfere with them so much, but c'est la vie!





"I SAID RIGHT FOOT BACK, GODDAMMIT!"

 Image stolen from shootbar.com who likely stole it from someone else.
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