Friday, June 1, 2012

Making Green Lantern gay is gay

Just because Ryan Reynolds played Green Lantern in the movie doesn't mean he has to be gay now. All joking aside, there is no need to suddenly turn any existing comic book character into a homosexual. No, this is not a homophobic rant that suggests kids and morbidly obese, unwashed men in their late 40s with unfortunate facial hair shouldn't be exposed to gay characters. I don't care who bangs who, most certainly amongst imaginary people. Instead, it's a rant against being lazy, uncreative and money grubbing.

I don't read comic books at all, so I guess I shouldn't care at all, but I can never pass up the chance to question something idiotic that pop culture has decided to dictate for everyone. Someone who does read comic books, let me know if this is a potential point...I suppose it could be argued that the sexuality of many comic book characters is ambiguous so, it may not be "turning" a character gay or straight because the focus of the comic has been on flying around, punching villains in the nuts, and magically getting away with costing millions in tax payer money in collateral damage. Plus, creating a new hero wouldn't show people that someone they already love is gay and therefore being gay is okay.

If their sexuality is ambiguous, why not leave it that way? Why bring attention to something that's not the focus of the series? If people want to imagine their hero as gay or straight, why not let them? Isn't the whole point of a superhero to give people an inspiration and a basis for positive imagination? Let people fill in the blanks in whatever way inspires them most. Fuck forbid we leave something open to interpretation. Better think FOR children and fat dudes or they won't make the assumptions we want an then they won't fall into our clever marketing trap.

As for the difficulty of creating a new hero, rebooting a series is doing exactly that, only it's just not called that. They completely change a character into a different dude, but keep him in the same outfit. DC is not doing this so that gay folks and their allies can see that someone who's already their hero is gay and still awesome. They're doing it because it's MUCH easier to capitalize on what is already a recognizable brand rather than to create and market a new one. It's basically telling LGBT folks and their supportive friends, "We're too lazy and cheap to put forth the effort it would take to create an LGBT character that everyone loves. Appealing to you and those that support you is only worth a certain, lower amount of effort."

So, fuck you, DC.

It's an extremely transparent ploy that everyone is going to chew up, swallow, and either create a healthy steaming pile of shit OR refuse to digest and puke up all over the rest of us. Pro-gay folks will say, "Oh, this is so great! Now, all the little gay nerds out there will have someone to look up to and all the little straight nerds will see that you can still be a hero if you're gay!" The Christian homophobes will say, "This is an abomination! DC is part of a secret plot to turn kids and obese, unwashed men in their late 40s with unfortunate facial hair into queers! It's our God-given right to teach our kids to hate gays. This is an attempt to oppress our religion!"

DC is just banking on all the NOH8, pro-gay Obama, Defense of Marriage hubbub that's in the air. They know that, in any case, the result will be TONS of press for DC and its likely to be extremely crappy reboot of an already retarded comic book series. All that press, be it positive or negative or, in this case, both, means increased revenues. It's a trap. Don't buy into it!

...besides, if ANY current superhero is to be rebooted and made gay, it should be Aqua Man.

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