Friday, June 22, 2012

Cuz I ain't no follow back girl...or am I?

I really did hold off on twitter as long as possible. When I finally joined, I used to to follow the handful of "celebrities" that I actually care about. Later, when the offer to create a podcast came up (I haven't had proper time to get it going), I was advised by the company owner to get on twitter to follow anyone who hashtags topics relevant to my podcast, to follow whoever they follow, and to follow back anyone who follows me. At first I did exactly that. I find myself doing it less and less. No more automatic follow back.

It's not that I want to be a snob, but I also see a quite a bit of twitter deception (twitception?), spammers, irrelevant taggers, obsessed fangirls, etc. People will follow you only until you follow back, then they stop following you. Of course, you don't notice til a while later when you decide your twitter feed is too crapped up with things you don't care about and decide to cut a few people. So, that's pretty rude.

There's also the problem of spammers and marketers. They're usually pimping out something stupid, whether it's an eBook, protein shakes, exercise videos, astrological readings. You name it, they spam it. They will @ mention you in their useless posts about their useless blogs and useless products. Blegh. Screw them.

Similar, but perhaps more annoying, are irrelevant taggers. These people see you tag something they like, even if you're saying how much you hate it, and follow you. Then, they @ mention you and tag whatever topic it was. For example:

Your Tweet: Goddammit, I can't be the only one who hates #BigBangTheory.
Response: Derp, BBT is the best show! -follows you-

A quick view of their profile reveals, "I'm an awesome chick who loves BigBangTheory! SHELDON FOR PRESIDENT!"


So, they can fuck right off.

The next merry band of morons that needs a brain enema are people who are die-hard obsessed with celebrities you happen to follow. No, there is nothing wrong with following celebrities on twitter and tweeting to them occasionally (as long as you realize that doesn't mean they've read it, care about it, or think you're not a total douchenozzle). I firmly believe if you are a celebrity and you choose to engage in social networking, you are willingly putting yourself out there, you will be bugged, poked, hashtags, and at mentioned by fans.

Of course, the problem comes when people spend all their time tweeting to the objects of their obsession. They tweet about NOTHING else. Worse, they all follow each other. Then, when the time is right...we'll say, days that end in 'Y'...they'll all tweet to each other about stupid shit that their favorite celerity did and then fight about it like a bunch of three year olds. They post rumors and even have a hand in  making up a few of them. Then they fight about them.

Ladies, and I say ladies because this tends to be a female habit, your favorite celebrity does not now, never has, and never will care about you, anything you say, anything you do, anything that happens to you, and least of all, anything you tweet.

It's sad because I see people who appear to have serious psychological trauma over the fact that their favorite celebrities don't acknowledge them....which then causes me psychological damage for having to see their bullshit on my feed all the time. I can't count how many times I've seen, "Hey, how come you never RT or reply to me? You RT and reply to EVERYONE else!" First of all, no they don't. Second, I realize we all want to be acknowledged by our heroes and get tired of hearing them say, "THANK YOU to all of you for your support! Luv u all," but of course, we have to understand that...well...they actually don't mean it.

Worse, plenty of them make up horrible tragedies to gain acknowledgment from celebs. How many times have you seen, "Hey, can you RT? My mom who's a Latvian refugee needs a life-saving face replacement. Please RT!!!" Maybe I'm a cynical cunt, but I'm willing to put my life savings...or $50, whichever is more...on a bet that at least 99% of those are bullshit. It makes me want to stop following any celebrity because I don't like dealing with their fans.

At the same time, I don't want to shut out anyone. I have this bizarre idea that you never know what someone can contribute to your life, so to flat-out reject someone is a closed minded, closed hearted thing to do. So many of my twitter followers and those I follow have taught me a lot (not the celebrities). I've learned a LOT about so many subjects because of stuff folks on twitter have researched or linked to. I know, it's just twitter, but you never know.

I guess I should wait a day or two and see if ppl keep following me, spammers and psycho fangirls are usually easy to spot.....but I dunno man. Blegh. Pin It

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