Saturday, April 14, 2012

My three point plan

I can't believe Americans spend millions of dollars in tax money to hire a bunch of rhesus monkeys in suits to fix our problems. Of course, they, in usual monkey fashion, have done nothing but fling poo at the economy and wonder why growth hasn't occurred. After all, poo makes great fertilizer, right?

Enough of this. How about a three point plan that would actually do some good for the economy?

1. Tax religious organizations and large corporations. Taxing churches will NOT prohibit the exercise of free religion. Taxing yoga studios never seemed to prohibit the exercise of yoga, why is church any different? They steal take in MILLIONS of "contributions," many of which are only contributed after a substantial amount of brainwashing and bullying people into paying a tithe, and they pay NOTHING! Churches have proven themselves over and over to be FOR PROFIT organizations. They take in MILLIONS and pay no taxes.

Speaking of millions (actually billions), here's a list of large corporations that paid NO TAXES from 2008 to 2010 and it's likely they won't for 2011 either. BTW, this is from REUTERS, not some filthy, Occupy, money-hating hippy's website.

So there, that should cover a few billion dollars for the economy. On to my next point.

2. Legalize gay marriage. Um, HELLO?! Who is gonna spend more money on weddings than gay dudes? Seven tier rainbow glittery princess wedding cakes, flower arrangements by Martha Stewart, private performances from Madonna, Lady Gaga and Cher, or their impersonators for lower budget couples, and Gucci wedding favors for every attendee. Ok, I know it's a grossly exaggerated stereotype that probably doesn't exist (or DOES it?), but seriously, even if you're not thinking about over exaggerated, stereotypical queer folk that don't really exist, do you know how long gays have been WAITING for the chance to have a real, official wedding? SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME! Several couples have gone ahead and had private ceremonies, but I bet you if gay marriage were legalized, a LOT of folks, even those that have already had private ceremonies, would have legal, official weddings. There could be a huge wedding boom!

3. Legalize drugs. Any drug. All drugs. Before you interrupt with, "Drugs are bad, mmkay," hear me out. There would be some regulation just like there is with alcohol, you can't be under a certain age, you can't drive while under the influence, you can't use them in certain places, stores have to have licenses to carry/serve them, etc. Put a huge-ass sales tax on 'em, say 20%, plus whatever local sales taxes are. Use the extra 20% tax money to support rehab and therapy clinics so that those who can't/don't/won't use responsibly will have access to help free of charge, no questions asked. It will be something like the Portuguese model....THIS Portuguese model....not this one. I guarantee you, the economy would skyrocket.

So, there you have it. My three point plan for successfully healing the American economy....and I'm giving it to you for free! I mean, unless somebody wants to pay me for it, I'll gladly accept donations. Pin It

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