Sunday, January 8, 2012
My least favorite words
"Tell me how you really feel."
It's usually said as a sarcastic reaction to someone who's strongly expressed any given thought, feeling, opinion, etc.
The first, most basic problem, is that this is often said to someone AFTER their thought, feeling, opinion, etc. was expressly solicited.
"What do think about _______?"
Depending on the subject, your answer may be anywhere from, "It's nice," or, "It sucks," to a five minute long diatribe about the merits or downfalls of the topic.
If it happens to be the latter, a lot of people will be made uncomfortable by it. Sadly, those of us who often answer in the latter allow ourselves to be shamed when people express their discomfort, so we willingly repress our vibrance and vitality.
My attitude is, don't ask if you don't want to know, asshole, and I usually say so (with our without the "asshole" at the end). Of course, some people will try to shallowly defend themselves by saying, "Well, I didn't really ASK you," when they very clearly did ask you, but they did so in the form of a sentence so as to shift the power structure a bit.
"Tell me you don't think_____."
Then when you won't tell them, they get angry and claim they didn't ask when really they're angry because you didn't obey their command.
Especially when you've been solicited, DO NOT EVER let anyone tell you that your expressions of passion are any of the following:
out of line
any number of words they use to try to shame you
In short, they're jealous. When you show year heart in all its radiant glory, instead of basking in the light, they avert their eyes for fear of being blinded; and who could blame them? After all, society has done its best to tame us all. So, they'll do their best to shut you down to protect their own fragile little egos.
Still, it's important to point out to them what they're doing. When they show their obvious jealousy, memorize this short monologue and let them have it:
Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you're boring. I'm sorry you don't have fire in your belly or passion in your heart. I'm sorry you float through life keeping your desires hidden to appease others. I'm sorry you're so insecure about your thoughts and emotions. I'm sorry you've let society beat you down. I'm sorry that, as a result, you don't live the life you want. Most of all, I'm sorry your overwhelming sense of envy forces you to begrudge all the things that you won't let yourself be!